Episode 61: Real Change 2

🎧 From Lost to Found: How One Teen's Journey from Zero Hope to College Success Will Inspire Your Own Transformation! Join us for a raw and honest conversation with Janaya, whose powerful story from Episode 2: Real Change continues as she navigates her freshman year of college, revealing both triumphs and struggles that will resonate with every listener.

Through honest reflection and authentic experiences, Janaya shares her journey from a challenging high school experience to finding her path at a private college, demonstrating how mindset and support can overcome academic obstacles.

This enlightening episode explores:

• Why rejection can sometimes be divine protection - and how a "dream school" denial led to a better fit
• The hidden opportunities in academic support programs like HEOP that can make private college affordable
• How to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of college transition while staying focused on long-term goals
• The critical importance of building relationships with guidance counselors and mentors who can open doors
• Why your friend group shapes your future and it's okay to outgrow old connections
• Real talk about college challenges, from difficult professors to condensed summer programs

Perfect for: High school students planning their future, college freshmen adjusting to campus life, teens questioning their worth and abilities, and the educators, counselors and parents supporting youth through major life transitions. Plus: Essential insights on balancing academic growth with personal development and how to stay resilient when college feels overwhelming.

Transcript

00:03.53
fatimabey
And welcome everyone. Today we have with us Jania. You've heard her before. She is featured on episode two and five, a couple couple other episodes, but this is a follow-up for episode two, ah which is called real change. That episode will be linked in the podcast description. I highly recommend that you listen to that episode first so that this one makes more sense and you can hear her progress. You can hear the changes and we're in a true,

00:32.48
fatimabey
Fatima fashion, we are gonna be raw and honest um about victories and failures and all of it. So um something you're you're going to, I believe that every single listener will you either see yourself in this episode or see someone you know, in in some of the things she's gonna say today. So regardless of your age, I want you to listen. So, and I also wanna let you know Janaya is in her dorm room. So unfortunately you may hear some small background noises door slamming in the hallway She's in a dorm room can help it and ah I do have editing

01:14.59
fatimabey
ah editing technology here, but I don't have Hollywood editing. So it is what it is. You might hear some noise in the background. I'll do the best I can to minimize it, but it might be there. All right. So I am so freaking excited to do this episode. I could not wait to do it. So her episode aired about a year ago, a little over a year ago. Right now, this is October of 2024 and the first episode aired in August of, uh, 2023. So when Janaya ah

01:45.66
fatimabey
On the last episode, Janaya was 17. She is now 18 and soon gonna be 19. She's grown up. and In the last episode, ah we talked about Janaya's journey from feeling low about herself with no hope for her future, which is where she was when I met her, to deciding that she was gonna go to college and been eventually become a family lawyer.

02:12.54
fatimabey
So back then, we were talking about ideas. And now let's hear her progress. How are you doing, Janaya?

02:22.09
Janiya
Good.

02:23.44
fatimabey
Good. So I guess I gave away the answer to this already. Are you in college now?

02:30.28
Janiya
Yes.

02:31.77
fatimabey
Yeah, you should be in college. So let's ask, let's ask um how is the college application process, like how was it the journey to getting to college?

02:45.88
Janiya
It was like hell, straight hell.

02:49.69
fatimabey
Tell us why.

02:51.54
Janiya
Well, um it was hell because um my GPA was not good. So it was really hard for me to get into college. So when I found the college that I'm at now, they end up wait listing me because my GPA didn't meet like their standards. So they had to send it off to the HOP program.

03:21.13
Janiya
And that the HOP program had to make ah um make a decision on whether I can have a chance to go to the school.

03:20.93
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

03:35.73
fatimabey
Yes, and um because I've been with Janaya this entire time and helping him to walk her through a lot of things, um the first college that she really, really wanted to get into They rejected you, didn't they?

03:54.10
Janiya
Yes, they did.

03:55.86
fatimabey
And you were very sad about that.

03:58.27
Janiya
I was very, very sad. on

04:01.09
fatimabey
But in hindsight, what do you think?

04:02.92
Janiya
But you had concerns, but you did have some concerns because it was a huge school and I was very fascinated on, oh my God, the school looks so fun. It's a lot of people and parties. And she's, and then you was like, I don't know about that.

04:21.64
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

04:23.09
Janiya
So yes.

04:23.60
fatimabey
So do you think now you and I already had this conversation, but for the audience sake, i'm do you think it was a good thing that they rejected you?

04:32.61
Janiya
Yes, yes, I am actually very grateful because um I learned better in smaller places, in smaller classrooms.

04:34.31
fatimabey
Why?

04:47.22
Janiya
And I need extra support. And if I was to go to the other school I wanted to go to, I would have been doing really, really bad.

04:58.54
Janiya
um I am struggling in college, but I would have been doing a thousand times worse in that college. I think it'll be to a point where I would have probably dropped out if I would have went to that college.

05:08.72
fatimabey
Yeah.

05:12.88
fatimabey
I think it, I think you're probably right. I think it would have been overwhelming. I'm glad that they rejected you. I know it didn't feel good. Um, and you know, but, uh, but you still kept hope alive and you kept going and you kept applying and.

05:25.11
Janiya
I, cause I take that as God's, that's God's protection and he wants me to go to a another direction. So rejection, that's God's protection. So he's safe.

05:40.16
fatimabey
you do You just heard it from an 18 year old girl. I, yes, sometimes rejection is God's protection. Um, so I just a little side by y'all. This is crazy. This was not planned by either one of us. And she didn't even know these facts until after these things happened. But Janaya is literally in the same dorm.

06:04.33
fatimabey
that I lived in when I went to college something on years ago. um So I lived on one campus, but i i in a dorm on one campus, and I attended classes.

06:18.97
fatimabey
on another campus, because this college has more than one campus. So they bust you back and forth. Well, it was never our plan. And Janaya had absolutely no idea that i was in that I did the exact same thing in college.

06:30.51
fatimabey
So I just thought that was kind of crazy. I was like, wait a minute. She was like, what? I was like, yeah, that's exactly what I did. So that was never planned. She wasn't trying to follow my footsteps.

06:41.01
fatimabey
It just kind of happened to me. So I just thought it was great. So tell tell the, well, you mentioned it already, huh?

06:44.93
Janiya
Coincidence. Coincidence.

06:48.79
fatimabey
It's never coincidence. So um you are ah you mentioned it earlier. So what program are you in um that that yeah accepted you into the college?

07:01.65
Janiya
H-E-O-P stands for higher education opportunities.

07:07.18
fatimabey
Program.

07:09.18
Janiya
Program, yep.

07:10.16
fatimabey
And um and this has this program been good for you?

07:16.53
Janiya
It has been very, very good to me. Couldn't thank them enough.

07:19.73
fatimabey
Yeah. i I had mentioned it in a previous episode, another episode where you're talking about colleges, for the audience listening. HEOP is the um Higher Education Opportunity Program, and it is an amazing program. It is available here in New York State. I don't know, there are other programs like other programs like it in other states. I don't know what they're all called. They all go by different names, and it's not in every state either. Similar programs, I should say.

07:47.42
fatimabey
Um, and then you have the, the EOP, which is the same program, but it's the state version. So, um, I highly recommended if you're in New York state, um, to try to get into it.

07:59.33
fatimabey
If you can, if you get the opportunity to get into it, try, cause they are amazing. Um, not just with financial aid, but the amount of support that they give students is pretty, pretty strong.

08:11.36
fatimabey
Um, so are you in a public or private college?

08:15.35
Janiya
I am in a private.

08:15.27
fatimabey
Janaya.

08:18.70
fatimabey
And the big what's the biggest difference between those two?

08:22.09
Janiya
The biggest difference is um private schools. Private schools is oh is very expensive.

08:33.99
fatimabey
Yes. Yes.

08:36.96
Janiya
So yes.

08:37.37
fatimabey
The biggest difference is thousands of dollars. I will tell you guys from my perspective, ah and Janaya will just confirm this, when she was, you know, seeking out her colleges, I was actually wanted her to go to a state school um because I know that it's cheaper and ah you're likely to get more financial aid because you have less to pay. And I didn't want her to come out of college, just you know, $30 billion dollars in debt like everybody else does.

09:07.75
fatimabey
So i really want I was really encouraging her to go for state schools. I wasn't even looking at the private schools. But it turns out, this this private school was ah so much of a better deal for her than any of those state schools. You remember those conversations, Janaya?

09:24.85
Janiya
Yes, you wanted me to go to a state college, at like a community college.

09:30.59
fatimabey
Mm-hmm.

09:31.29
Janiya
your hope Her whole plan was for me to go to a community college where I can get that academic support because community college, they do tend to give you a lot of support and point ah andmp prepare you for a four-year school.

09:41.03
fatimabey
Mm-hmm.

09:44.66
Janiya
And it'll be more cheaper when you graduate. But I guess that wasn't the plan.

09:53.83
fatimabey
And I'm glad it didn't work out, because I think where you are right now is so much better than any of those other places. You know um you still could have done it, but ah just the support that you have at this particular school is really good. So I'm very grateful that you're in it.

10:09.22
fatimabey
Now, let me ask you, because again, this is kind of an update and ah taking a journey through Jania's progress and struggles and ups and downs. So how were you nervous about your college interview?

10:24.30
Janiya
Yes, I was. Yes and no, I was between.

10:28.81
fatimabey
Okay, so tell us what you mean.

10:31.44
Janiya
The reason why I would say yes because I was nervous is because I was competing with other people. The reason why I wasn't nervous is because the HOP wanted to know who you are to see if you will be a good candidate for the program.

10:49.94
Janiya
And I was confident about that because I know myself very well. So I'm like, okay, this is no pressure.

10:57.45
fatimabey
You know yourself very well now. What was your college essay about?

11:02.09
Janiya
My college essay was a personal narrative about me and the journey I went from nothing to something, rock to diamond.

11:15.63
fatimabey
It was the reason why I'm mentioning that audience for you those of you listening, especially if you're um You know of you're going to college soon You're a a junior senior in college and you've got to write your college essay don't write the standard one two three the more personal you make it and And genuine like really really genuine the more it'll stand out the cookie cutter ones They see a million of those a day. They don't stand out um and and Tell them during your interview, did you feel, what did they say to you i'm that made you really feel like it went well and you stood out to them?

11:52.60
Janiya
they when I was um something that so I got it was um so the HOP so the HOP team is four people so I was and I would they all four of them interviewed me and all four of them asked me different questions so it was different things that they it was different things they was really impressed impressed about about me.

12:15.43
Janiya
one of them asked me one of them One of them asked me how do I feel about um when i'm when I'm struggling, do I ask for help, and how do I how do i um how do i how how do i how do i ask for help, and how do I eat um react

12:34.07
fatimabey
Ask for help.

12:41.25
Janiya
but How do I feel when I receive help? Like what do I do when I receive help?

12:43.66
fatimabey
Okay.

12:44.83
Janiya
Okay.

12:45.24
fatimabey
Yeah, I was trying to remember the way you worded it to me.

12:45.71
Janiya
And yes. So I told them, I was like, Ms. Bae, when she helped me, when she helped me, she she knew she helped me in helping me finding out who who I am.

13:06.77
Janiya
I could have chose to like not listen to her. I kind chose to not take her advice to her tips, but I did. And I kept going to her. And that's how like, that's how like, that's why I am the way I am today. Because of because of her, or I give her my credit.

13:28.85
Janiya
and And I told them every time I struggle really, really bad, I always ask for help. And that stood out to one of them because they're like, you know what?

13:36.34
fatimabey
Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

13:40.61
Janiya
Because there's a lot of people that struggles and they just decide to stay where they're at.

13:43.25
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

13:45.03
Janiya
So I like that about you.

13:45.42
fatimabey
Yes.

13:48.35
Janiya
And one of the other, this was actually, she's the HOP assistant. one of What of um was stood out to her was is that i she realized she liked that i um but that I had value in my i had value and because she told me that that's what is the H-O-P is about because a lot of you guys you know went through your high school struggles and we want you guys to know, like listen, you guys have value, you can do it. So yeah.

14:26.78
fatimabey
I want to interject there um and kind of go back to something and I'll talk to the audience right now that Janaya said. um'm What she didn't mention is when she was nervous about her college interview, she she gave me a call first, right? Like a few days before she's like, I'm really nervous. It was like on a Sunday and it was interviews Tuesday or something like that. And she's like, I'm really nervous. Oh my God. You know, and What I want to point out and reiterate the point that she just said The good thing is that she did reach out to someone whether it was me or someone else She reached out to someone when she was feeling nervous didn't know how to get unnervous or how to really properly prepare Instead of just sitting there and being nervous and holding it in she might not have done as well in the as the interview if I if she didn't have me to like

15:15.81
fatimabey
coach her a few days beforehand and get her to feel more comfortable. I didn't tell her what to say. Not one time did I tell her what to say. I just coached her into being mentally prepared to do it for herself. And, you know, we, it's important that you ask for help. You might not have a Ms. Bae.

15:35.07
fatimabey
You might have an Uncle Joe. You might have a somebody at your church. You might have somebody at school. It is really so important that you ask for help when you're feeling nervous, when you have those moments.

15:46.22
fatimabey
so Find someone you can trust and ask for that help. It really can matter and make a difference. um That person can really make a difference in your life if you let them. And the key thing is, she really could have ignored everything I said.

15:59.75
Janiya
i wouldn't yeah I probably would have even gotten to that college if it wasn't for Ms.

15:59.51
fatimabey
She could have just be like, I know everything. I don't need to listen to you. She could have done all that.

16:08.70
Janiya
Bae because like she was she was she was teaching me how to learn myself and to learn who I am. And if it wasn't for her, I would have been a lost soul.

16:23.70
Janiya
so

16:25.08
fatimabey
And thank you, Jania, but I want your audience to know that I do not have magical powers. There are others around you who might be just like me who can help you.

16:35.30
Janiya
Yes.

16:35.25
fatimabey
So it's so important that you reach out for help. i'm this this just This whole episode just excites me. So um now you are nervous for your interviews, but let's move on to high school.

16:51.69
fatimabey
So obviously you're not in law school yet because you're only a freshman in college right now. um And when I last talked to you, it was before you the before you began your senior year and in high school. So the school particular school that you're in has a program that can fast track you to a particular law school, which is so perfect because it's something that we had talked about

17:12.28
Janiya
Yes.

17:16.45
fatimabey
you know prior to that and that's really what she wanted and lo and behold she was able to get into a school because not all schools have that and so she's in the perfect place to do exactly what you know she really was trying to do now let me ask her to talk about college finances because that's something that we should talk about because I want other people to to hear um how many loans did you have to take out well first of all it's a private school Private schools usually cost at least $35,000 a year, but most of the time it's between $35,000 and $60,000 a year. That's on average. I am pulling those numbers off of my memory, um but it depends on the state that you're in. they can Those numbers can all be different, but when it comes to private colleges, they are a lot. um So how many loans did you have to take out, Janaya?

18:04.05
Janiya
due to the HOP program. like What?

18:09.88
fatimabey
That's amazing, because most people have to take out several. And how much is that loan? Or roughly, how much was that one loan?

18:15.71
Janiya
It's only around $3,000. It's in that range.

18:19.83
fatimabey
I want you guys listening. um get where I'm giving you these details, because I want you to be encouraged. That can be you, too, no matter what state you're in.

18:29.43
fatimabey
Is it like 96% of your tuition is paid for outside of the loan?

18:33.03
Janiya
Yes.

18:33.85
fatimabey
or Some percentage around there, because we're not looking at her paperwork right now, but it's somewhere around 96% of her college is paid for. That means 96% of her the her first year in college is paid for and she does not have to pay it back.

18:49.42
fatimabey
Grants. and ah tuition assistance and all kinds of different things. It's not all coming from one source. But I want you all to know that that can be you too. um You do not have to take out $50 billion dollars in loans. um And $3,000 is a lot when you're a college student, but it's not a lot when you look at the overall value of what you're getting, but the overall um you know cost of tuition. She can literally pay that back before she even goes to law school.

19:18.85
fatimabey
if she wants to or if she wants to pay back within the first year after college, she could. That's not a lot. It's not going to keep her in debt for years, um you know like $10,000 or $15,000 or the other amounts that a lot of people pay for.

19:32.11
fatimabey
Right, Janaya?

19:33.17
Janiya
Yes.

19:34.62
fatimabey
So I'm so excited about that. i'm Now let's talk about ah another topic that I think People need to hear um from you because you're not alone in this.

19:46.33
Janiya
Okay.

19:48.69
fatimabey
Has college been a challenge?

19:51.31
Janiya
Yes, it has.

19:53.46
fatimabey
So let's talk about just just a couple of the ways that it has been a challenge.

19:59.20
Janiya
So in college, um it's more you're more independent. That's what I'm struggling with.

20:07.03
fatimabey
Mm-hmm.

20:08.46
Janiya
um I'm also struggling with with one of my professors because when you're in high school, if you don't work too well with a teacher, you can just get them switched easily.

20:20.71
Janiya
In college, it's not an easy process. You can get your professor switched, but it's gonna you're go it's not going to look too nice if you do that. It will affect you.

20:31.58
Janiya
ah Withdrawal isn't on my transcript.

20:31.58
fatimabey
Yeah, on your transcript.

20:34.04
Janiya
It's not going to look too nice.

20:34.31
fatimabey
Yeah.

20:35.20
Janiya
So yeah, it's it's hard.

20:39.33
fatimabey
And for all of you listening, if you are um high school in high school and you're looking to go to college, you're going to get professors that suck, period, and whether you like it or not, some some of them will be amazing and really good teachers. But unfortunately, everybody who's a professor does not have the gift of teaching. They have a whole bunch of knowledge and some paperwork behind their name that doesn't mean that they're good teachers. So no matter what school you go to, what topic it is,

21:07.66
fatimabey
you are going to have to navigate around bad teachers.

21:11.13
Janiya
Yes.

21:11.06
fatimabey
That is a fact, I'm just preparing you now.

21:14.35
Janiya
In high school.

21:14.20
fatimabey
doesn't It makes it harder, but yeah, high school they give you, they they'll too lean it sometimes.

21:19.49
Janiya
In high school, you can navigate around bad teachers. You can just go to your guidance counselor, your principal, and listen, I don't want to teach you no more, I don't work. Switch you just like that, you be you have a new teacher the next day. College, oh no, and on the slide.

21:31.59
Janiya
You can, but it's not gonna look good.

21:31.77
fatimabey
Right. Right, right. So I want I wanted all of you to hear that. Tell me about. um What? What was this summer like? Explain to the audience what you ah what you had to do this this summer and what that was like.

21:51.11
Janiya
So due to the HOP program, since I have a low GPA, they took us for the summertime to prepare us for the fall semester.

22:00.79
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

22:03.12
Janiya
And we had to get our credits up. And I'm not gonna lie, it was straight hell. It benefited me. It did it had some a lot some good things happen in the program.

22:16.14
Janiya
The reason why I say it was hell is because the HOP program so We was doing 15 weeks of work and they squished it in into five weeks. The HUP used to be 15 weeks long, but decided to cut it to five weeks. And that was a lot. I did not, I feel like I was always busy. um I didn't really have no personal time and it was very overwhelming for me. so I was ready, I'm not gonna lie, I was ready to quit.

22:47.88
Janiya
I called Ms. Vey every day crying saying, listen, I don't want to do this anymore.

22:50.50
fatimabey
yeah

22:53.37
Janiya
I'm ready to like leave. I even told my high school guidance counselor and my high school guidance counselor, she's very close to me as well. We have a strong relationship.

23:04.00
fatimabey
Mm-hmm, yeah.

23:05.23
Janiya
She's one of the reasons why I also got into the college. She is friends with someone that works in my college and

23:08.16
fatimabey
Mm-hmm.

23:13.39
Janiya
that she spoke with the financial aid person and our financial aid person end up contacting.

23:18.60
fatimabey
Stop, stop, stop, stop. I'm gonna delete that part. I don't want you to see those details. um Don't say that she's friends with someone at school and they helped you out.

23:29.18
Janiya
Oh.

23:29.43
fatimabey
That can that can get her in trouble if it looks like. Do you know what I'm saying?

23:35.75
Janiya
Hmm.

23:36.01
fatimabey
If it looks like she was playing favorites and and snuck you in and you didn't get in legitimately on your own.

23:44.42
fatimabey
That can be twisted to like, well, this is I like this girl, so let her in. It didn't really work like that. She gave you a recommendation. You could say that she recommended you.

23:55.02
Janiya
Yeah, she recommend she basically like said, like, hey, I have a girl, Janayesh. Her application is coming. So like can you keep an eye out on that?

24:06.52
Janiya
And like that. And after that, that's when it had to get, that's when she sent it to the HOP office because um and she couldn't like accept me because i didn't it my a my my GPA didn't meet it rey the standards.

24:10.67
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

24:25.15
fatimabey
I want to backtrack for a second and mention something. Last year, one of the first things that I told one of the things I told you, Naya, was I specifically basically gave her an assignment to find and really get to know her guidance counselor. And before you go into college this year, get to know your guidance counselor because that will be your best friend and know more than I do and they can help you with the stuff I don't know. It is, and my point in mentioning that, it is very important that we get to know to the the the people that can help us get to the next level. who Sometimes it really isn't what you know and who you, it is who you know. And I don't mean kiss people's butt and be fake, okay? Let me make that clear. That is not what she did at all. And I don't want you doing that either. It it is okay to befriend people and network with people who are gonna help you get to the next level. That's a beautiful thing. In fact, it's smart.

25:19.10
fatimabey
So for you out there, I want you to take that lesson away from just that little piece of if you're in high school, make friends with your guidance counselor or somebody who's more familiar with where you're going, whether it's college or another area, you know, that's so important to do. I'm sorry, I decided ah to add that in there. um So um how do you feel you have grown within this past year?

25:46.90
Janiya
Mmm, how have I grown?

25:51.02
fatimabey
Are you the same genire you were at the last interview?

25:56.28
Janiya
No.

25:58.59
fatimabey
Okay, why?

26:01.00
Janiya
Um... Because...

26:17.28
fatimabey
okay Edit what are you trying to say to me because I don't know what you mouth to me.

26:20.58
Janiya
I really don't know, I really don't know how I groaned.

26:20.74
fatimabey
I'll delete this part up Okay, so maybe maybe I'll ask you more specific questions that'll demonstrate that because you have Like do you feel you are Okay,

26:24.70
Janiya
I don't really feel like I groaned actually. I feel like I've groaned, I just don't know.

26:35.62
Janiya
Okay.

26:44.04
fatimabey
let me ask you this

26:47.28
fatimabey
Has college helped to increase or decrease your confidence? Honest answer.

26:56.26
Janiya
it The college decreased my confidence.

26:59.42
fatimabey
Okay.

27:01.43
Janiya
The college they humbled me because before, in the last interview, I was very excited. I was going into my senior year, going into college, and in um and my next goal would be getting my bachelor's degree.

27:17.34
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

27:17.66
Janiya
But, you know, easier said than done. And I didn't realize that at first.

27:20.32
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

27:21.83
Janiya
I'm just like, yeah.

27:23.18
fatimabey
Mm hmm.

27:23.64
Janiya
I'm gonna be majoring psychology, I'm gonna be doing this and that, and um it's gonna be easier for me, because I'm interested in that, and it is completely the opposite. And it's actually not, it's it's college, and don't get me wrong, college, it's fun, but you have to take classes that you don't like, and the classes that, the major that you are interested in, especially when you are a freshman,

27:52.70
Janiya
Go say that you're majoring in business or child education, nursing, whatever, or any major. When you are and when you are and were you are a freshman in college, you're doing the basics and the basic stuff. It's it's not fun. It's not fun.

28:09.85
Janiya
um maybe when you get when you're in your i'll say in your junior and senior year that's where it gets fun you know when you're about it's like it's like going to a water park or doing going somewhere fun you know sitting in a car right it's not fun but you have to do it but then when you're getting out the car because you're at the destination walking there and then actually being there now it's fun so you just have to wait

28:10.83
fatimabey
You're right.

28:37.81
fatimabey
So you said that it reduced your your confidence. And I know, because we've had these conversations, um academically, it has ah really, really, really challenged you in ways that high school did not and probably should have.

28:51.97
Janiya
Yes Yes Yes, I am not stupid No, I know I'm not stupid I just don't know What's I just I'm just like confused and lost in my glasses, but I know I'm not like I'm stupid.

28:52.92
fatimabey
High school should have challenged you more, but it didn't. So that makes college, um makes you feel kind of stupid sometimes. Am I am i right? Now, are you stupid?

29:06.27
fatimabey
Okay. So you haven't lost your confidence completely.

29:20.62
Janiya
I can't do it I'll figure it out.

29:22.61
fatimabey
Okay. So what I, what I hear is that it's challenging, but, uh, it makes you feel like maybe, Oh my God, can I do this? But at the end of the day, what I also hear in your voice is hope.

29:36.87
Janiya
Yes.

29:37.05
fatimabey
for the end game. Hope, am I correct? Am I putting words in your mouth?

29:39.94
Janiya
Yes.

29:40.19
fatimabey
Am I right?

29:41.01
Janiya
yes

29:41.27
fatimabey
Hope for the end game. And I want the audience to hear that because this is the reality of what growth looks like, y'all. Growth isn't perfect. You don't go from A to Z overnight.

29:51.81
fatimabey
That does not work and it is not true. You're going to have moments of challenging. You're going to have moments of doubt. You're going to have moments where you want to throw in the freaking towel. But are you going to throw in the towel?

30:07.76
Janiya
Me?

30:09.43
fatimabey
No, I'm talking to the wall. I'm gonna edit that part. But just go ahead and answer, I'll edit it out.

30:15.47
Janiya
No, I'm not gonna throw the towel.

30:19.26
fatimabey
As you guys can hear, she she has her doubts sometimes. And I'll tell you this summer, it was a challenge, because she's not lying when she said she called me every day. And it was after one conversation, after one conversation she goes, Ms. Bae, you're a coach.

30:38.17
Janiya
Yes.

30:38.42
fatimabey
And I'm like, uh, that's what I've been doing this whole time, duh. But, but she doesn't think of me in that terms of that title, but sometimes, you know, she needed that encouragement and it really was hard for her. And and I'm, she was literally trying her absolute best. And I, and I can say with a hundred percent certainty, she was not playing around. She wasn't hanging out with friends and joking and drinking and doing all that stuff. She wouldn't run around with boys. She was literally focused and trying her hardest.

31:06.64
fatimabey
but that's also why she's there now. If she hadn't done that, she would have failed right out.

31:09.17
Janiya
yes so I'm not um' not mouth I'm gonna be honest with you I have not been to no parties I haven't yeah not yet I haven't done it I will um I had been sociable

31:13.69
fatimabey
Are you partying now or are you focused or a little bit of both?

31:30.69
fatimabey
Listen y'all, sometimes I have had to tell Jania

31:31.05
Janiya
ah

31:35.35
fatimabey
You need to make sure you make more friends. Because Janai is perfectly happy sitting in a room and studying.

31:42.09
Janiya
I am...

31:42.02
fatimabey
And I'm glad, it's beautiful that she's that way. But I also want to see her be balanced. And and all for all of you out there, some of you are the opposite of her. You'd rather party and not study, but you're not going to get anywhere doing that.

31:53.17
Janiya
Yeah, I haven't been...

31:53.18
fatimabey
You you you need to you need to have balance.

31:56.09
Janiya
haven't been to no parties yet. I have been sociable with my friends. Um, yeah, so...

32:04.74
Janiya
Yeah.

32:05.27
fatimabey
ah Which is good.

32:06.32
Janiya
that There's nothing wrong with partying.

32:07.01
fatimabey
aye

32:09.52
fatimabey
No, i ah you should have some fun because if you don't, then you end up exploding later because you didn't get your angst out, you know?

32:16.91
Janiya
Yes.

32:16.99
fatimabey
um And how do you feel about your future right now?

32:23.43
Janiya
um How do I feel about my future is I still want to advocate for children that have not changed and it will not change.

32:30.86
fatimabey
who

32:34.27
Janiya
um Something that has changed is how I'm going to get there because I'm at

32:38.62
fatimabey
Okay let's talk about that.

32:41.08
Janiya
because as you all can see, previous podcasts I said I will major in psychology. I changed that. I'm actually majoring in criminal justice. I don't like it. I'm actually thinking about majoring in sociology, if I said it right.

32:56.78
Janiya
um So yes, I don't know which path I'm gonna take, but I'm gonna get there somehow.

33:06.56
fatimabey
Right. The thing I want to add for the listeners is she wants to be a family attorney. And the reason she wants to be a family attorney is to be able to advocate for children ah the way she wished someone had advocated for her. And she did talk about that in episode two in the last episode. Um, but we have talked about, because she's been messaging me all the time about this, we've talked about the different ways in which she can still do that. Family lawyer is just one way. Um,

33:35.98
fatimabey
There are other avenues that still require schooling and still going to keep it where she is and she's still going to move forward that she can pursue first before becoming a lawyer or become a lawyer and then do these other things.

33:48.79
fatimabey
So, um, do you mind if I tell the audience the other thing you're considering?

33:53.85
Janiya
yes probation officer yes

33:55.29
fatimabey
So is it, is it called juvenile, uh,

34:00.23
fatimabey
What is it called? There you go, probation officer. We talked about so many different titles, so forgive me audience. um Juvenile probation officer, and she gives she can still do that. um And she could still be a family attorney too. Tell the audience, what is your eventual goal after being a family attorney?

34:20.94
Janiya
Oh, my actual main main main goal is to be a um family judge.

34:29.35
fatimabey
a family court judge.

34:30.77
Janiya
Yes, family court judge.

34:31.21
fatimabey
I personally think that if she becomes a, I do think she would make a good juvenile probation officer because she'd be real with the with the teens and relate to them. um But also, they wouldn't be able to run all over her, and I think that's a perfect combination. ah But if you combine that with being a lawyer, I think that's an excellent ah combination of different perspectives before becoming a judge. Now, that's just my personal opinion. But the good thing is that Janaya has options. She does not even have to decide that this year. She can decide next year what she's going to do.

35:04.96
fatimabey
But what I like about what I see from Jania, and again, I'm talking to you as the audience. What I like about what I see from Jania is she is very much focused on deciding what her bigger picture is in the future. Which way do I want to go to get there? She's not waiting for a shoe to drop or a rock to fall on her. She is planning. And if you are in that stage, it is okay if you haven't figured it out yet.

35:32.23
fatimabey
If you were listening, you're in high school or you're in the first year of college and you youre you've made your decision, but you're like, I don't know, maybe I might want to go this way. It is okay for you to figure that out. There's nothing wrong with you. It in fact is very normal. The people who are in denial about it are the abnormal ones, not you. So I just want to point that out. So if we do another follow-up episode after this,

35:56.34
fatimabey
We'll see what she has decided because what she's deciding is what to narrow it down to. Her overall goal is still the same, but like she said, there's different paths she can take to get there. And she's been kind of up and down and talking to me about it and and still hasn't made a fine decision. And that's okay. It's her first year, it's her first semester as a freshman. So it's good that she's thinking that, but it's okay that she hasn't fully decided that. She hasn't changed the end game, but still deciding how to get there. And that is ah so wonderful.

36:25.67
fatimabey
so What advice, Jania, do you have for the teens who are in high school right now?

36:32.62
Janiya
The teens, my advice is please be mindful on what you do in every grade because every grade counts and it will affect you later it will it will it will affect you later at towards the end. um Another thing is please, if you are a teen that is in that is in their junior or senior year,

37:02.46
Janiya
high in high school but plan on going to college I would please ask you guys to please please please appreciate these teachers now because you're not going to get that same support in college um another thing is please be involved in a lot of things because that's also that's also very important because me looking ki back at my high school, me, I'm in college, i obviously i'm obviously thinking about my four years of high school. And I'm like, hmm, I really wasn't really involved in a lot of things. And you don't, you really don't want that. You don't want to have like a planned four years of high school.

37:43.82
fatimabey
Very good advice. And the advice she's given you is conversations that she's already had with me. um But she didn't know who she was until just, you know, the end of her junior year, which which is when she met me and, you know, I started coaching her and she started to realize that she had value and started giving effort. You know, all of that took place at the end of her junior year. So she was able to get into the the good college, really good college that she's in now um and move forward.

38:12.37
fatimabey
even though she didn't do that great the first three years. And I'm saying that because as an audience, if you're in high school, take her her advice to heed, please do the best you can from where you can't stop the past.

38:26.31
fatimabey
You can change the past, but you can start today and make a difference and care about your future.

38:27.92
Janiya
Yes.

38:32.42
fatimabey
And just understand that you matter enough to care about your future.

38:36.28
Janiya
And am please surround yourself around good peers because surrounding yourself around people that's not going anywhere, don't have any goals, don't care about anything, people feel people that feels like they have nothing to lose,

38:36.80
fatimabey
Jania started making, go ahead.

38:57.01
Janiya
Don't hang around those people like that because if you're hanging out with people that have nothing to lose, you're gonna end up having nothing to lose and you're not gonna go anywhere like that. And who you hang around is who you become. If you can't really find anyone that's like on, that's really on the same boat as you, it's okay to be alone. um Yeah, it's boring sometimes, but you gotta do what you have to do to be successful. And that's how I was in high school.

39:23.81
Janiya
I felt like i could't I couldn't relate to and well towards in my senior year, junior, senior year, I started to get more serious about things. And you know, when I started to mature, I couldn't really find people like me. And I just felt like all all alone and by myself because the way how I was maturing in college is different. Now I'm with people that's like me now.

39:46.22
fatimabey
ay You just you said a whole lot right there and for adults listening. I Want you to know you can apply that same principle to your own life Who are you around? Where are they going people with no goals? No, go nowhere okay, and You you want to be careful who you hang around and take your future serious well Janaya I I want to say publicly, I am so proud of you. There's so many more conversations we've had that we don't have time to put on the air today. But watching you grow has been a beautiful experience for me. Watching you become who you're going to become and watching you go from who you were to who you are has been so fulfilling for me. And I love it. And I can't wait to see your future.

40:44.48
Janiya
Me too.