A Crown With Purpose - Teen Queen at 14, Lucille Esler: Episode 69

🏆Meet 14-year-old pageant winner Lucille Esler, who's transforming her brother's autism journey into a powerful mission of advocacy and awareness while proving beauty queens can be agents of real change.

Through authentic storytelling and passionate advocacy, Lucille reveals how personal challenges can become platforms for positive impact, while offering inspiration for teens seeking to make their own mark.

This uplifting episode explores:

• Why having an autistic brother inspired a mission to educate and connect families
• How pageants can be platforms for meaningful community service and advocacy
• The impact of creating sensory-friendly spaces and autism awareness programs
• Why authenticity and stepping outside comfort zones leads to greater impact
• The truth about self-doubt and building resilience while pursuing big dreams
• Breaking stereotypes about beauty queens through dedication to service
• Using personal experiences to create positive change in your community

Perfect for: Teens looking to make a difference, families touched by autism, aspiring pageant contestants, young advocates finding their voice, and anyone interested in turning personal challenges into purposeful action. Plus: Essential insights about building confidence while staying grounded and using your unique story to create meaningful impact.

Follow Lucille here:
https://www.instagram.com/missniagarateenny/

To see what she has done as Miss Fingerlakes Teen click below.
https://www.instagram.com/missfingerlakesteenny

Transcript

00:01.30
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And welcome everyone. Today we have with us Lucille Essler. She is from Gloversville, New York. She has won Miss Finger Lakes Teen 2024, Miss Niagara's Teen 2025. She is 14 and she's more than just a pretty face. She is pretty with a cause. I met her as a client. I altered a few of her pageant gowns actually, including the one you see on the cover.

00:27.94
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And she has a lot of really good things to say, which is why I invited her on today. How are you doing today, Lucille?

00:34.71
Lucille Esler 
I'm good how are you?

00:36.53
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
I'm good. I'm looking forward to this, this episode.

00:39.67
Lucille Esler 
Me too.

00:39.82
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
So I like to dive right in. Why did you start competing in pageants?

00:46.02
Lucille Esler 
I started competing in pageants for several reasons, but the most important reason was because my brother Teddy has autism and through the Miss America organization, you have something called a community service initiative. And I knew before I even started competing that I needed my community service initiative to be supporting autistic individuals and their families.

01:10.17
Lucille Esler 
because I know the challenges that my family and I face on an everyday basis. So my goal as Ms. Niagara's teen 2025 is to be able to connect to more families that experience the same things that I do every single day.

01:26.14
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
That's awesome, so that's what I mean, audience, when I say she's pretty with a cause. Tell us a little bit more about your your brother Teddy, because autism is a very general term nowadays. um Does he talk? Like, what level is he at?

01:40.76
Lucille Esler 
My brother Teddy, he is nine years old now. He's in fourth grade and he is not able to communicate.

01:44.05
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Mm-hmm.

01:47.83
Lucille Esler 
To communicate, a lot of the time he uses his hands or he uses his iPad to press buttons and it repeats back to him to help him communicate.

01:48.06
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Okay.

01:56.91
Lucille Esler 
but He really is only using his body language and sometimes because he can't express his emotions with his words he gets aggressive and it is very hard on our family but I'm so lucky that I've been able to use my year last year as Miss Finger Lakes team to go into schools and educate kids about this.

02:18.45
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
So tell us a little bit more about that. So my next question I was going to ask you is what do you do as Miss Teen? So as Miss Finger Lakes 2024, what have you done in the schools? What kind of talks have you given?

02:30.38
Lucille Esler 
So I went into four schools throughout my reign as Miss Finger Lakes teen. I think even more because I visited Teddy School, which it is called BOCES and it serves special education program.

02:41.37
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Hmm.

02:43.30
Lucille Esler 
I was able to talk to so many kids.

02:43.25
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Mm-hmm.

02:44.78
Lucille Esler 
It was amazing. But when I go into these classrooms, I read a slideshow called Life with the Adorable. And the name is Life Would Be Adorable because when my brother Teddy, his full name is Theodore, when he was out of the womb, the nurse just said, oh my gosh, he is Theodore-able. So I knew that had to be my name for when I visit the schools.

03:05.99
Lucille Esler 
And so I go in and I share my experiences with living with an autistic brother and some quirks and qualities that he has every single day that can relate to young children if they have autism or if they don't have disabilities.

03:06.39
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh that's cute.

03:20.91
Lucille Esler 
And I show that you have some similarities as well as some things that are not similar to Teddy. But by sharing these stories, actually one time There was a girl who had autism in one of the classrooms and she didn't know that she was autistic, but she heard me reading the slideshow and she went back to her mom and she said, mom, today I learned about autism.

03:37.38
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh, wow.

03:43.87
Lucille Esler 
And that gave the mom the opportunity to tell her daughter for the first time that she was autistic. And I have many other good stories like this, but to be able to use the Miss America organization as a platform to connect to families really means the world.

03:59.36
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
So it's called Miss Miracle organization that puts on the Miss Finger Lakes.

04:03.85
Lucille Esler 
Yes, well, there's there's a Miss Finger Lakes and Miss Upstate New York organization as well as the Miss Buffalo and Miss Niagara organization and they are local chapters of the Miss New York organization and the Miss New York organization is a state chapter of the Miss America organization.

04:04.54
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Okay.

04:09.07
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh, okay.

04:23.51
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Okay, sounds like multi-level organization stuff.

04:26.80
Lucille Esler 
Yes, yes.

04:29.08
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
and much like the rest of America and lots of other fields actually.

04:31.60
Lucille Esler 
Oh, yes.

04:34.11
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
um so has has ah I love the fact that you were able to have an impact on one at least one young woman um and being told that she was autistic. and I'm sure that her mother was trying to figure out a way to tell her um because I'm sure as a parent, that's probably not easy.

04:55.37
Lucille Esler 
Yeah.

04:55.18
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
There was a couple other stories that you told me. um What other reactions have you gotten from some of the students you've spoken to?

05:05.00
Lucille Esler 
Well, one time I went to an event held by the Arc Lexington. The Arc Lexington is a nationwide organization that has programs and services that helps families throughout the nation. They actually help my family through their programs and services, so I've been able to go to their events throughout the year with my title as Miss Finger Lakes Teen and they had a Rock for All Abilities concert where are it's people with disabilities.

05:31.43
Lucille Esler 
They made their own band and I was able to speak there and to talk about my community service initiative and my youngest brother Teddy who has autism and how it has impacted my family.

05:33.42
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh, wow. Aw.

05:43.60
Lucille Esler 
And there were actually girls and boys that were older, but more high functioning on the spectrum of autism. And after I read my speech, they came up to me and they told me, oh, I have autism too, just like your brother. And it really meant the world because that was saying that they were listening to me and they made a connection and they just gave me the biggest hug. And I took a photo with them. It was the sweetest moment.

06:09.61
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And I want to point out a key factor. Being on this platform has caused some people to listen to you. And to me, that's the only reason to be on any platform for any reason, entertainment.

06:23.68
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
ah You name the reason is to get people to listen to you because then that's an opportunity to make a difference. And I'm sure for some of some of the kids that you've spoken to, they were able to feel

06:35.85
Lucille Esler 
Thank you.

06:36.49
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
a little bit more accepted, ah normal, give it whatever word you want there. um Just because I heard you talking about it, you know someone who's got a big title saying, hey, i know I have someone like you and I know what that's like. So I i think that's great that you are using you're using your beauty as a tool to to talk about something that's you're passionate about. And I think that more people need to be like you. Not that they need to be beauty queens, but they all have different gifts and talents that they could follow you in that respect in that you can use whatever gift and talent you have, whatever platform you have, even if it's small, to make a difference in the people around you.

07:18.90
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
um Tell us a little bit about We know that you are Ms. Niagara's teen for 2025. What are you going to do with that? What are your plans with that?

07:33.57
Lucille Esler 
Well, last year I had a t-shirt fundraiser called Support Awesome People, but instead of awesome like A-W-E, S-O-M-E, it was awesome like A-U, S-O-M-E to represent autism.

07:46.42
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh, okay.

07:48.37
Lucille Esler 
And like I said, the R-Flexington is an organization that helps my family throughout their programs and services and other families in my community. So as the next Ms. Niagara's team, I want to open up these fundraisers again to not only share them within my community, but through other local chapters of the ARC.

08:07.94
Lucille Esler 
I'm working with planning with the arc of Oneida County in Utica and with the arc of Erie County, actually near the region where I won Miss Niagara's team in the city of Buffalo.

08:19.89
Lucille Esler 
And I'm also hosting a sensory skate event at my local skating rink over this December break because I want to have certain hours where kids with disabilities and their families can have an open skate with not as loud music and not very overstimulating so they can be able to have the same opportunity as neurotypical kids do while they're skating every day.

08:33.42
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh, wow. Oh, that's awesome.

08:45.03
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
That is really awesome. Yeah. You know, I never, ah that's a good idea because they do loud noises are very, is a very big deal for a lot of them.

08:54.35
Lucille Esler 
Yes.

08:54.99
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
So being able to have it lower where people just like them and nobody's getting in the way and they're not getting anybody else's way and they could just have fun.

09:02.50
Lucille Esler 
I know that's a struggle for my brother Teddy with loud places that he's not comfortable with.

09:02.32
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
That's awesome.

09:05.38
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Yeah, yeah.

09:07.87
Lucille Esler 
So to be able to impact more kids and even give Teddy the opportunity to go skating without having to worry about like just being in his own space and being comfortable.

09:19.88
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Well, I think that's really freaking awesome. I'm so glad that you're doing that. ah What else do you plan for your your personal future besides those things as your title?

09:25.06
Lucille Esler 
Thank you.

09:32.05
Lucille Esler 
Last year I was able to compete at Miss New York's Teen in July and it was one of the most life-changing experiences. i got to me I got to meet girls from throughout New York State who won local titles and I've never even met these girls before but

09:40.55
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Why?

09:49.48
Lucille Esler 
I felt like after a week we have already made strong relationships and I had the experience of being able to share my passions and my talents as well as my community service initiative and my experiences with having an autistic brother.

09:53.29
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Good

10:04.33
Lucille Esler 
So to have this opportunity to go to Miss New York's team again as Miss Niagara's team is something that I'm looking forward to.

10:12.23
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
because now you come back, I got another title.

10:16.56
Lucille Esler 
yeah

10:16.55
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
and That's so great, that's so great. And what else do you see for your future?

10:21.13
Lucille Esler 
I also am looking forward to hopefully being on the college dance team and going to college to be a radiologist. This is something I'm really passionate about and I'm 14.

10:32.41
Lucille Esler 
I have four years left. I don't know where I'm going to college yet, but

10:35.03
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Right, right.

10:37.13
Lucille Esler 
If I win Miss New York's team in the future, I'm looking maybe to go to Alabama because the Miss New York organization, well the Miss America organization, they give each girl in the team category the experience to go to Bana with a full ride scholarship.

10:53.52
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, well that's awesome.

10:55.22
Lucille Esler 
That's so cool.

10:56.65
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
That is so awesome. Well, you do have a few years before college and ah tell us why radiology, why you're so passionate about that.

11:05.21
Lucille Esler 
Well, because my brother Teddy has autism and I've always been interested in the subject health and school, I think it's so important to have the opportunity to be able to look at MRIs and to look at things and to be able to tell people what their problem is and what's going on because I know that it takes a lot of hard work to go to medical school and to come out and be a radiologist, but I think it's so cool to be able to diagnose people with their problems and to make a difference.

11:31.90
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Mm hmm.

11:37.34
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
That's dead. You're right. I never thought about that. You are. kind of making a difference by letting them know what they have so that they can start the process of whatever they need to start.

11:45.37
Lucille Esler 
okay Yes.

11:46.98
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And there's a lot of different things. Yeah, radiology is very, it's rocket science. it's it's a it's It's not easy. and you It's not something that stupid people can do, that's for sure.

11:57.45
Lucille Esler 
Now.

12:01.13
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
um It does require a lot of brains. I have i have some respect for that. um Like I do a lot of things in the medical field, actually.

12:09.99
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
I will say that one of my favorite things about you, um and one of the reasons I invited you on my show is you're so down to earth. People assume that when you're really pretty and you have attention, whether it's in your case titles or you're on TV or social media star or whatever, people assume that, oh, you must be arrogant, you must be snotty, you must think you're all that. You don't have you don't carry that with you at all.

12:38.97
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And it's one of the reasons why after talking to you, you were just a client whose dresses I was altering and you know doing alterations to. But after having a conversation, I'm like, you know what? I want to earn my show. Because there's more depth to you than just on the outside. You're pretty on the outside, but honestly, that's not the most impressive thing about you. So what? You are pretty on the inside, and that's what shows. And for many of you listening, you are just like her. You don't need to be a beauty pageant.

13:07.57
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
you are pretty on the You are pretty on the inside. And it needs to show on the outside and not talking about your physical look. I mean, some of you need to open up and allow your passions to show through because you can do so a lot of some of the things that she's doing you can do. And I don't mean necessarily as a beauty title. I just mean going out there and finding your niche, finding the thing that you want to fight for that you think is important and going for it because that by itself will raise you up. I promise you that can happen, right?

13:40.71
Lucille Esler 
Yes, it can. It just takes hard work and dedication. And even when I go into schools, like whether I have a crown or sash on or not, I always try to influence young girls who ask me, how did you get here?

13:54.25
Lucille Esler 
How did you do this? I tell them it takes hard work and dedication.

13:55.94
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Yeah.

13:58.57
Lucille Esler 
But if you have something that you're passionate about and everyone has something that makes them unique, And if you use that to the best of your abilities and express yourself with authenticity, like how I took my experiences with having an autistic brother, and I made it something that made me unique, but also how I can express myself in my at-home life.

14:03.96
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Right.

14:19.97
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Did you ever have before you started pageantry, Did you ever feel like, oh my God, I don't know if I can do this?

14:30.55
Lucille Esler 
I experience that I don't know if I can do this healing every single day. like There's always going to be times where I doubt myself just because I have a community service initiative and I love to use the Miss America organization as a platform to be able to share my experiences and all these things doesn't mean I don't self-doubt myself.

14:53.80
Lucille Esler 
And I actually was able to talk about this in my interview for Miss Niagara's team, which was just a few weeks ago.

14:54.36
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Right.

15:00.51
Lucille Esler 
And to be able to share how I deal with self-doubt and how it helps me become a more resilient person is what I want to carry going to Miss New York's team and hopefully someday going to Miss America's team to share to young girls.

15:14.79
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
I hope you do because people like you should.

15:17.43
Lucille Esler 
Aww.

15:17.49
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
i'm i think it's and I think it's important for you to say that because I want the audience to hear and other teen girls to hear that just because you're super model pretty doesn't mean that you're 100% confident.

15:30.81
Lucille Esler 
Mm hmm.

15:30.75
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And, you know, people ah again, people assume that sometimes it's because you're pretty sometimes because you're famous or have a lot of money. They assume that it means you have everything else together. And that is almost never true. You know, and I want the girls out there to know that just because If you feel like you're scared and not confident in certain areas, you're actually normal. there's you're probably they're You're probably not as confident as you should be, but you're actually normal. And you're you're you know doing great things is not out of reach for you because it's not out of reach for her.

16:08.20
Lucille Esler 
Yeah, everyone doubts themselves once in a while.

16:08.19
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
you know she

16:11.65
Lucille Esler 
Like if they tell you that they don't doubt themselves, that's a lie because I'm sure it crosses everyone's mind.

16:12.08
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Right?

16:19.32
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Absolutely. And it's normal to do that.

16:21.58
Lucille Esler 
Yes.

16:21.45
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And I want other girls your age to know it is normal to do that. Um, but what, what you don't want to do is stay in the doubt and park there.

16:32.10
Lucille Esler 
Mm hmm.

16:32.52
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Use it as a gas station. All right. This is how I feel right now, but I'm going to be brave and I'm going to tough it out and I'm going to move forward anyway.

16:39.53
Lucille Esler 
You can use it as motivation to do better because I know in dance, like it's not always easy for me or anybody to get anything automatically.

16:39.89
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Cause yup.

16:48.55
Lucille Esler 
And I have to remind myself, if you don't get something automatically, it's even more of a reason why you can work towards it. And tomorrow is a new day and you don't have to get, it's not going to be easy.

17:00.07
Lucille Esler 
And if you expect it to easy to be easy, it's never going to come because progress is a process.

17:08.13
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
You stole my words, girl, because I say it all the time. But it it is really true that progress is a process, and understanding that helps us to not give up. But if you expect everything to be you know overnight, I can't stand it when there's people in positions like yours, and they only show the glory of their position, and they're not honest about the the journey it took to get there.

17:33.16
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And it's like, I don't care. if what you When this kid was talking about pageant, we could be talking about success in another area. I don't care which what we're talking about. Nobody just jumps overnight and goes, ta-da, I is here.

17:45.22
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
It just doesn't work like that. We have to work hard if we want to accomplish our dreams and goals.

17:51.46
Lucille Esler 
Thank you.

17:51.52
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
I don't care what topic you're talking about. i'm Now I want you to talk directly to your peers. You already did a little bit, but what advice do you have for any teen listening right now?

18:06.77
Lucille Esler 
The advice that I have is, like I was saying, if you have something, which I know everyone does, that makes you unique, you don't hide it.

18:17.27
Lucille Esler 
Don't hide it to be like everyone else.

18:17.64
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Yes. Mm-hmm.

18:19.82
Lucille Esler 
Because the only reason why I'm here today and why I am involved in the Miss America organization and I've had these fundraisers and I've been able to be an advocate for autism is because I expressed what made me unique and I didn't just go into my comfort zone because I wouldn't be here today if I didn't step outside of my comfort zone.

18:42.38
Lucille Esler 
Sometimes you have to push yourself to do the best that you can, but also to sit outside of your comfort zone. And sometimes it's not always comfortable what you're doing, but you can over time, it's a skill that you're going to learn that you have to gain resilience through your experiences because it's not always going to be easy. But if you keep pushing on and stay motivated, you will get there eventually.

19:09.48
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Beautifully said, beautifully said, Lucille. And I'm hoping that your peers were listening and and take that under advisement, no matter what topic their focus is. Everything you just said is absolutely true. So how can people find you, Lucille?

19:27.66
Lucille Esler 
You can find me through my Instagram accounts, Lucille dot.Esler and Miss Niagara Teen New York, but New York like NY.

19:40.92
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
All right. And I will have that in, uh, the podcast description. So you all will be able to, uh, to follow her if you'd like and see her, hopefully her other wins because I think she only just began.

19:46.58
Lucille Esler 
Thank you.

19:55.24
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Um, and we'll see more and more. I do think that, and I, and I hope that I'm right. Um, if I'm wrong, don't come back and correct me, but

20:04.69
Lucille Esler 
Oh my gosh.

20:04.73
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
But I hope that I'm really right. I hope that I'm really right and that you that you do raise up on other platforms simply for the reason that you will you you will utilize them. As long as you don't change your mindset, you will utilize that whatever platforms you're put on for good.

20:15.44
Lucille Esler 
here

20:18.45
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
And so I applaud that. And I'm really, really glad you came on. I absolutely love you. um And I'm really glad to to have met you.

20:28.08
Lucille Esler 
Thank you. And me too. You not only did the best job as a seamstress, but I know you're doing good in this world. And I know you're doing more than just being a seamstress.

20:38.93
Fatima Bey The MindShifter
Yes, thank you so much. um well again Once again, thank you Lucille for coming on and um we will talk soon.

20:42.08
Lucille Esler 
Thank you. Of course. All right. Talk to you soon. Thank you.