A Crown With Purpose - Teen Queen at 14, Lucille Esler: Episode #69

🏆Meet 14-year-old pageant winner Lucille Esler, who's transforming her brother's autism journey into a powerful mission of advocacy and awareness while proving beauty queens can be agents of real change.

Through authentic storytelling and passionate advocacy, Lucille reveals how personal challenges can become platforms for positive impact, while offering inspiration for teens seeking to make their own mark.

This uplifting episode explores:

• Why having an autistic brother inspired a mission to educate and connect families
• How pageants can be platforms for meaningful community service and advocacy
• The impact of creating sensory-friendly spaces and autism awareness programs
• Why authenticity and stepping outside comfort zones leads to greater impact
• The truth about self-doubt and building resilience while pursuing big dreams
• Breaking stereotypes about beauty queens through dedication to service
• Using personal experiences to create positive change in your community

Perfect for: Teens looking to make a difference, families touched by autism, aspiring pageant contestants, young advocates finding their voice, and anyone interested in turning personal challenges into purposeful action. Plus: Essential insights about building confidence while staying grounded and using your unique story to create meaningful impact.

Follow Lucille here:
https://www.instagram.com/missniagarateenny/

To see what she has done as Miss Fingerlakes Teen click below.
https://www.instagram.com/missfingerlakesteenny

Transcript

Welcome to Mindshift Power podcast, a show for teenagers and the adults who work with them, where we have raw and honest conversations. I'm your host, Fatima Bey, the mind shifter. And welcome everyone. Today, we have with us Lucille Esler. She is from Gloversville, New York.

She has won miss Finger Lakes teen twenty twenty four, miss Niagara's Teen Twenty Twenty Five. She is 14 and she's more than just a pretty face. She is pretty with a cause. I met her as a client. I altered a few of her pageant gowns, actually, including the one you see on the cover.

And she has a lot of really good things to say, which is why I invited her on today. How are you doing today, Lucille? I'm good. How are you? I'm good.

I I'm looking forward to this this episode. So I like to dive right in. Why did you start competing in pageants? I started competing in pageants for several reasons, but the most important reason was because my brother Teddy has autism. And through the Miss America organization, you have something called a community service initiative.

And I knew before I even started competing that I needed my community service initiative to be supporting autistic individuals and their families because I know the challenges that my family and I face on an everyday basis. So my goal as miss Niagara's team twenty twenty five is to be able to connect to more families that experience the same things that I do every single day. That's awesome. So that's what I mean, audience, when I say she's pretty with a cause. Tell us a little bit more about your your brother, Teddy, because autism is a very general term nowadays.

Does he talk? Like, what level is he at? My brother, Teddy, he is nine years old now. He's in fourth grade, and he is not able to communicate. To communicate, a lot of the time, he uses his hands or he uses his iPad to press buttons, and it repeats back to him to help him communicate.

But he really is only using his body language. And sometimes because he can't express his emotions with his words, he gets aggressive. And it is very hard on our family, but I'm so lucky that I've been able to use my year last year as miss Finger Lakes team to go into schools and educate kids about this. So tell us a little bit more about that. So my next question I was gonna ask you is what do you do as miss teen?

So as miss Finger Lakes twenty twenty four, what have you done in the schools? What kind of talks have you given? So I went into four schools throughout my reign as miss Finger Lakes Teen. I think even more because I visited Teddy School, which is called BOCES, and it's through a special education program. I was able to talk to so many kids.

It was amazing. But when I go into these classrooms, I read a slideshow called life with the adorable. And the name is life with the adorable because when my brother Teddy, his full name is Theodore, when he was out of the womb, the nurses said, oh my gosh. He is the adorable. So I knew that had to be my name for when I visit the schools.

And so I go in, and I share my experiences with living with an autistic brother and some quirks and qualities that he has every single day that can relate to young children if they have autism or if they don't have disabilities. And I show that you have some similarities as well as some things that are not similar to Teddy. But by sharing these stories, actually, one time, there was a girl who had autism in one of the classrooms, and she didn't know that she was autistic. But she heard me read the slideshow, and she went back to her mom and she said, mom, today I learned about autism. And that gave the mom the opportunity to tell her daughter for the first time that she was autistic.

And I have many other good stories like this, but to be able to use the Miss America Organization as a platform to connect to families really means the world. So it's called Miss America Organization that puts on the miss Finger Lakes. Yes. Well Okay. There's a there's a miss Finger Lakes and miss upstate New York organization Oh, okay.

As well as the miss Buffalo and miss Niagara organization, and they are local chapters of the miss New York organization. And the Miss New York organization is a state chapter of the Miss America organization. Okay. Sounds like multilevel organization stuff. Yes.

Yes. Much like the rest of America and lots of other fields, actually. Oh, yeah. So has has, I love the fact that you were able to have an impact on one at least one young woman, and being told that she was autistic. And I'm sure that her mother was trying to figure out a way to tell her, because I I'm sure as a parent, that's probably not easy.

What other, there was a couple other stories that you told me. What other reactions have you gotten from some of the students you've spoken to? Well, one time, I went to an event held by The Arc Lexington. The Arc Lexington is a nationwide organization that has programs and services that helps families throughout the nation. They actually help my family through their programs and services.

So I've been able to go to their events throughout the year with my title as miss Finger Lakes team, and they had a rock for all abilities concert where it's people with disabilities. They made their own band, and I was able to speak there and to talk about my community service initiative and my youngest brother, Teddy, who has autism and how it has impacted my family. And there were actually girls and boys that were older but more high functioning on the spectrum of autism. And after I read my speech, they came up to me and they told me, oh, I have autism too just like your brother. And it really meant the world because that was saying that they were listening to me and they made a connection, and they just gave me the biggest hug.

And I took a photo with them. It was the sweetest moment. And I wanna point out a key factor. Being on this platform has caused some people to listen to you. And to me, that's the only reason to be on any platform for any reason.

Entertainment, you name the reason is to get people to listen to you because then that's an opportunity to make a difference. And I'm sure for some some of the kids that you've spoken to, they were able to feel a little bit more accepted, normal, give it whatever word you want there. Just because they heard you talking about it, you know, someone who's got a big title saying, hey. I know I I have someone like you and I know what that's like. So I, I think that's great that you were using, you're using your beauty as a tool to, to talk about something that's, you're passionate about.

And I think that more people need to be like you. Not that they need to be beauty queens, but they all have different gifts and talents that they could follow you in that respect, in that you can use whatever gift and talent you have, whatever platform you have, even if it's small to make a difference in the people around you. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about we know that you are miss Niagara, miss Niagara Niagara's Teen for 2025. What are your plan what are you gonna do with that?

What are your plans with that? Well, last year, I had a T shirt fundraiser called support awesome people. But instead of awesome, like, a w e s o m e, it was awesome, like, a u s o m e to represent what it's on. And like I said, the Arc Lexington is an organization that helps my family throughout their programs and services and other families in my community. So as the next miss Niagara's team, I want to open up these fundraisers again to not only share them within my community, but through other local chapters of the ARC.

I'm working with planning with the ARC of Oneida County in Utica and with the ARC of Erie County, actually near the region where I won miss Niagara's team in the city of Buffalo. And I'm also hosting a sensory skate event at my local skating rink over this December break because I want to have certain hours where kids with disabilities and their families can have an open skate with not as loud music and Oh, awesome. Not very over stimulating so they can be able to have the same opportunity as neurotypical kids do while they're skating every day. That is really awesome. Yeah.

You know, I never that's a good idea because they do loud noises are very is a very big deal for a lot of them. Yes. So being able to have it lower where people just like them and nobody's getting in the way, and they're not getting anybody else's way, and they could just have fun. That's awesome. That's a struggle for my brother, Teddy, with loud places that he's not comfortable with.

So to be able to impact more kids and even give Teddy the opportunity to go skating without having to worry about, like, just being in his own space and being comfortable. Well, I think that's really freaking awesome. I'm so glad that you're doing that. What else do you plan for your your personal future besides those things, as your title? Last year, I was able to compete at miss New York's teen in July, and it was one of the most life changing experiences.

I got to meet I got to meet girls from throughout New York state who won local titles. And I've never even met these girls before, but I felt like after a week, we have already made strong relationships. And Good. I had the experience of being able to share my passions and my talents as well as my community service initiative and my experiences with having an autistic brother. So to have this opportunity to go to miss New York's team again as miss Niagara's team is something that I'm looking forward to.

Because now you come back. I got enough title. That's so great. That's so great. And what else do you see for your future?

I also am looking forward to hopefully being on the college dance team and going to college to be a radiologist. This is something I'm really passionate about, and I'm 14. I have four years left. I don't know where I'm going to college yet, but if I win miss New York's team in the future, I'm looking maybe to go to Alabama because the miss New York organization well, the miss America organization, they give each girl on the team category the experience to go to Bama with a full ride scholarship. Oh, I didn't know that.

Oh, well, that's awesome. So cool. That is so awesome. Well, you do have a few years before college. And, tell us why radiology why are you so passionate about that?

Well, because my brother, Teddy, has autism, and I've always been interested in the subject health in school. I think it's so important to have the opportunity to be able to look at MRIs and to look at things and to be able to tell people what their problem is and what's going on. Because I know that it takes a lot of hard work to go to medical school and to come out and be a radiologist, but I think it's so cool to be able to diagnose people with their problems and to make a difference. That's that you're right. I never thought about that.

You are kind of making a difference by letting them know what they have so that they can start the process of whatever they need to start and a lot of different things. Yeah. Radiology is very it's rocket science. It's it's, it's it's not easy, and you it's not something that stupid people could do. That's for sure.

It does require a lot of brains. I have I have some respect for that. Like, I do a lot of things in the medical field, actually. Yes. I will say that one of my favorite things about you, and one of the reasons I invited you on my show is you're so down to earth.

People assume that when you're really pretty and you have attention, whether it's in your case, titles or you're on TV or social media star or whatever, people assume that, oh, you must be arrogant. You must be snotty. You must think you're all that. You don't have you don't carry that with you at all. And it's one of the reasons why after talking to you, you were just a a client whose dresses I was altering and, you know, doing alterations to.

But after having a conversation, I'm like, you know what? I wanna earn my show because there's more depth to you than just on the outside. You're pretty on the outside, but, honestly, that's not the most impressive thing about you. So what? You were pretty on the inside, and that's what shows.

And for many of you listening, you are just like her. You don't need to be a beauty pageant. You are pretty on the inside, and it needs to show on the outside. I'm not talking about your physical look. I mean, some of you need to open up and allow your passions to show through because you can do so a lot of some of the things that she's doing, you can do.

And I don't mean necessarily as a beauty title. I just mean going out there and finding your niche, finding a thing that you wanna fight for that you think is important and going for it because that by itself will raise you up. I I promise you that can happen. Right? Mhmm.

Yes. It can. It just takes hard work and dedication. And even when I go into schools, like, whether I have a crown or a sash on or not, I always try to influence young girls who ask me, how did you get here? How did you do this?

I tell them it takes hard work and dedication, but if you have something that you're passionate about and everyone has something that makes them unique, and if you use that to the best of your abilities and express yourself with authenticity, like how I took my experiences of having an autistic brother, and I made it something that made me unique, but also how I can express myself in my at home life. Did you ever have before you started pageantry, did you ever feel like, oh my god. I don't know if I can do this. I experienced the I don't know if I can do this feeling every, like, every single day. Like, there's always going to be times where I doubt myself.

Just because I have a community service initiative and I love to use the Miss America organization as a platform to be able to share my experiences and all of these things doesn't mean I don't self doubt myself. And I actually was able to talk about this in my interview for miss Niagara's team, which is just a few weeks ago, and to be able to share how I deal with self doubt and how it helps me become a more resilient person is what I wanna carry going to miss New York's team and hopefully someday going to miss America's team to share the young girls. I hope you do because people like you should. Aw. I think it's an I think it's important for you to say that because I want the audience to hear another teen girls to hear that just because you're supermodel pretty doesn't mean that you're a % confident.

And, you know, people again, people assume that sometimes it's because you're pretty, sometimes it's because you're famous or have a lot of money. They assume that means you have everything else together. And that is almost never true. You know? And and I want the girls out there to know that just because if you feel like you're scared and not confident in certain areas, you're actually normal.

There's Mhmm. You're probably there you you're probably not as confident as you should be, but you're actually normal. And you're you're, you know, doing great things is not out of reach for you because it's not out of reach for her. Yeah. Everyone doubts themselves once in a while.

Like, if they tell you that they don't doubt themselves, that's a lie because I'm sure it crosses everyone's mind. Absolutely. And it's normal to do that. And I want other girls your age to know it is normal to do that. But what what you don't wanna do is stay in the doubt and park there.

Use it as a gas station. Alright. This is how I feel right now, but I'm gonna be brave and I'm gonna tough it out and I'm gonna move forward anyway. You can use it as motivation to do better because I know in dance, like, it's not always easy for me or anybody to get anything automatically. And I have to remind myself, if you don't get something automatically, it's even more of a reason why you can work towards it.

And tomorrow is a new day, and you don't have to get it's not going to be easy. And if you expect it to easy to be easy, it's never going to come because progress is a process. You stole my words, girl, because I say it all the time. But it's it is really true that progress is a process, and understanding that helps us to not give up. But if you expect everything to be, you know, overnight, I can't stand it when there's people in positions like yours, and they only show the glory of their position.

And they're not honest about the the journey it took to get there. And it's like, I don't care if we when this kid was talking about pageant, we could be talking about success in another area. I don't care what what we're talking about. Nobody just jumps overnight and goes, ta da. I is here.

It just doesn't work like that. We have to work hard if we wanna accomplish our dreams and goals. I don't care what topic you're talking about. Now I I want you to talk directly to your peers. You already did a little bit, but what advice do you have for any teen listening right now?

The advice that I have is, like I was saying, if you have something, which I know everyone does, that makes you unique, you don't hide it. Don't hide it to be like everyone else. Because the only reason why I'm here today and why I'm in I am involved in the Miss America organization and I've had these fundraisers, and I've been able to be an advocate for autism is because I expressed what made me unique, and I didn't just go in my comfort zone because I wouldn't be here today if I didn't step outside of my comfort zone. Sometimes you have to push yourself to do the best that you can, but also to sit outside of your comfort zone. And sometimes it's not always comfortable what you're doing, but you can over time.

It's a skill that you're going to learn that you have to gain resilience through your experiences because it's not always going to be easy. But if you keep pushing on and stay motivated, you will get there eventually. Beautifully said. Beautifully said, Lucille. And, I'm hoping that your peers were listening and and take that under advisement, no matter what topic their focus is.

It's everything you just said is absolutely true. So how can people find you, Lucille? You can find me through my Instagram accounts, Lucille dot Essler and miss Niagara team New York, but New York like n y. Alright. And I will have that in, the podcast description So you all will be able to, to follow her if you'd like and see her, hopefully, her other wins because I think she only just began.

And we'll see more and more. I do think that, and I and I hope that it I'm right. If I'm wrong, don't come back and correct me. But but I hope that I'm really right. I hope that I'm really right and that you that you do raise up on other platforms simply for the reason that you will you you will utilize them.

As long as you don't change your mindset, you will utilize the whatever platforms you're put on for good. And so I applaud that, and I'm really, really glad you came on. I absolutely love you, and I I'm really glad to to have met you. Thank you. And me too.

You not only did the best job as a steam as a seamstress, but I knew know you're doing good in this world, and I know you're doing more than just being a seamstress. Yes. Thank you so much. Well, again, once again, thank you, Lucille, for coming on, and, we will talk soon. Of course.

Alright. Talk to you soon. Thank you. And now for a mind shifting moment. I want to go back to something that we both said at some point during the episode, and that is that we all have gifts and talents, just different kinds.

And I want you to think about what power do you have? Could be the way you talk, the way you're able to convince people of things. It could be the way you're able to analyze things. You have some sort of platform. Could be a teacher, whatever your platform is.

You maybe you, everybody around you listens to what you say, even if it's just in your small circle in high school. That's still a platform. What gifts or platform do you have that you can use to make a difference? You hear how Lucille is using hers. She's using her her gift, her beauty as a tool.

You see her her beauty is a gift. She was born with it. She was born that pretty with that body, that face, that hair, but she chose to take all of that and do something with it. What were you born with? What gifts do you hold?

And how can you use it as a tool to help those around you? Just something to think about. Thank you for listening to Mindshift Power Podcast. Please like and subscribe to my YouTube channel at the mind shifter. If you have any comments, topic suggestions, or would like to be a guest on the show, please visit FatimaBay.com/podcast.

Remember, there's power in shifting your thinking. Tune in for next week.