PACE Yourself: A 13-Year-Old's Method for Not Losing Your Sh*t (Episode 119)

What if the difference between chaos and clarity is just one breath? We sit down with 13-year-old TEDx speaker Vihan Reddy, whose calm response during a terrifying accident—a car running over his foot—reveals how a simple method can reshape choices under pressure. Vihan walks us through PACE: Pause, Assess, Choose, Engage. It’s a clean, four-step framework that turns raw emotion into practical action, whether you’re melting down during practice, stuck on a test question, or trying to repair a friendship after a heated argument.

Together, we unpack how the pause creates space to think, and why assessment is more about noticing the one fix that matters than overanalyzing. Vihan shares how a single coaching cue—maxing the wrist on a forehand—transformed his tennis form, and how that same lens works outside sports. We talk about the hidden cost of lashing out, how panic multiplies pain, and the surprisingly powerful skill of letting wisdom in without swallowing everything you hear. You’ll hear clear examples of PACE at work: taking a breath instead of smashing a racket, filtering distractions while studying, and choosing a steady response when emotions surge.

The conversation turns practical fast: how to practice PACE before the moment, build a reliable mental filter, and set boundaries with friends while staying kind. If you’ve ever wished you could hit reset when you feel yourself tipping over the edge, this is your playbook—short, memorable, and grounded in real life from a voice wise beyond his years.

Listen now, try PACE this week, and tell us where it changed your outcome. If the story resonates, subscribe, share with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.

Connect with Vihaan Reddy:

 reddygvihaan@gmail.com 

Watch his TEDx Talk:

https://www.fatimabey.com/119

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Guest Introduction
• 2:55 Impulsivity And The Tennis Racket Moment
• 4:30 The Car Incident And Staying Calm
• 6:10 Breaking Down PACE: Pause, Assess, Choose, Engage
• 9:30 Using PACE In Sports And School
• 12:20 Consequences Of Not Pausing
• 14:05 Advice To Peers: Let Wisdom In
• 16:10 Filtering Inputs With PACE
• 18:00 Recap, TEDx Links, And Contact
• 19:30 Host’s Mind-Shifting Moment And Closing

Transcript

Fatima Bey: 0:02

MindShift Power Podcast. This is Mind Shift Power Podcast, the number one critically acclaimed podcast where we have raw, unfiltered conversations that shape tomorrow. I'm your host, Fatima Bay, the Mind Shifter. And welcome everyone. Today we have with us Vihan Reddy. He is out of Pennsylvania in the USA. And he is a TEDx speaker. He is 13 years old. And he has a lot to say that I just I can't wait for you all to hear. How are you today, Vihon? I'm great.

Vihaan Reddy: 0:47

 I'm good. How are you?

Fatima Bey: 0:47

 I'm great. So tell us about yourself and why are you here?

Vihaan Reddy: 0:47

I am 13 years old. I am in middle school. I participate in tennis. I am a cross-country runner, and I also do track at school. I am here because I would like to share a message with everybody that helps people make better decisions. And I would like them to take away knowledge from that and use it in their life.

Fatima Bey: 1:13

Okay. And you really do have that. So before we talk about that, um, or anything you've spoken about publicly already, I want to ask you this. Where were you right before you learned how to control your reactions?

Vihaan Reddy: 1:26

Well, that's a that's a really good question. Um mentally I was I was a very impulsive person. I used to get mad at the littlest things. Like I actually have an example. So I was at tennis practice and we were doing something called cross-court drills, where you hit the ball to each other like on a cross-court side, and I was I was not doing so good, and I did so bad that I actually slam my racket onto the court. Oh. And that was that was probably one of the most like impulsive moments for me before I learned um how to pace myself. Okay.

Fatima Bey: 2:11

Let me ask you also this. What did people misunderstand about you back then? Or what do you think they misunderstood about you back then?

Vihaan Reddy: 2:20

One of the things that I felt they misunderstood about me is that I was, as I just said, I was very impulsive. And I think that they kind of misunderstood the way that I acted. As I sort of said, I was an impulsive person and they thought that I was kind of calm.

Fatima Bey: 2:39

They thought you were calm until they saw your reaction. Is that what you mean?

Vihaan Reddy: 2:43

Yeah.

Fatima Bey: 2:43

And then they were shocked, like, why is this kid acted out? So there was something that we pace is what we're gonna talk about, something you came up with. But I want you to tell the audience what happened in your life that changed everything for you? What set this off?

Vihaan Reddy: 3:00

So one of the very big events in my life that has sort of changed me in a way is when my foot it actually got run over by a car.

Fatima Bey: 3:12

What?

Vihaan Reddy: 3:12

And yeah. And in that moment, I knew that lashing out would not be helpful because it would just make everything worse. I knew that if I just sort of stayed calm, of course I was feeling paid but pain, but if I just stayed calm and sort of just think about getting better, like pause, assess, choose, and engage, I would make a better decision and choose not to get angry or lash out.

Fatima Bey: 3:46

So uh let's take a step back. How did your foot get ran over by a car?

Vihaan Reddy: 3:50

So I was coming back from a basketball practice with with my friend, and his dad was driving. He thought that I was all the way in the car, but I wasn't. And then he started driving, and my right foot got under the tire, actually. Oh my god.

Fatima Bey: 4:10

And you were able to be calm in that situation?

Vihaan Reddy: 4:13

Yeah, a little bit.

Fatima Bey: 4:14

Wow, because I know I would have freaked out. I think most people would have been just going berserk. But you're right, you you so you pace yourself. So explain what that means.

Vihaan Reddy: 4:24

So pace has four parts. So all the four parts is pause, assess, choose, and engage. The first part, pausing. Before you make a decision, you have to pause, like literally, just if you're doing something and you're about to make an impulsive reaction, sit down, take a breath, or take a sip of water. That's what pausing means. And assess. Assess means to look at the different outcomes that could come from like look at the different outcomes that you could that could come out from where you're thinking and then choosing. You could choose one of those outcomes and to engage, you put it into your everyday life, and what used to be an i what was about to become an impulsive decision became a better decision where where everything was good.

Fatima Bey: 5:24

So pause. How do you pause when your emotions are raging in that moment?

Vihaan Reddy: 5:30

Here, I have an example. If the tennis story that I just said, when why my emotions were really, really high and I was super angry, I could have taken a breath, taken a seat on the bench and just and literally just paused for a moment and taken a sip of water and just think about what I was gonna do. Oh, I mean like if I was if I used pace in that event, it could have made a things a lot better.

Fatima Bey: 6:00

Yes, but you uh uh uh based on what you're telling me, you hadn't come up with that yet.

Vihaan Reddy: 6:05

Yeah.

Fatima Bey: 6:06

And so you did you come up with pace after your foot was run over and you realized what you did and gave it a name? Is that how it happened?

Vihaan Reddy: 6:13

No, it actually came before my foot was run over. So I have this other story. I was doing a private lesson with my tennis coach, and we were working on something called forehand in tennis, and I was not doing really well again, and he taught me that s one small thing can make the biggest of changes. So he actually told me there's something called maxing your wrist in tennis, where you turn your wrist when you're about to hit the ball, you turn your wrist all the way out when you're setting for your forehand, and that actually not only gives you more power, but also closes the racket so it doesn't open and you the ball goes flying up. So basically what my coach was doing at that time, he was using pace. When he was looking at my form, he paused and he assessed me by looking at my form and saw what I I was doing wrong. And he chose that I was not maxing my wrist all the way, and he and by engaging, he told me that to do that, and my form got a lot better from that.

Fatima Bey: 7:34

Okay. So you're saying this is something that people can use in sports as well?

Vihaan Reddy: 7:39

Yeah, they can use it anywhere in life.

Fatima Bey: 7:41

What are some other places you think people can use pace?

Vihaan Reddy: 7:44

Another place that they can use pace is anywhere. If they're um about to make a decision, say you um have a test and there's this problem that you're stuck on, first you pause, you think, and then you assess. You think about all the things that you have learned in that um chapter or lesson, and you choose to put all that knowledge on the test, and you engage by choosing the answer.

Fatima Bey: 8:18

So it sounds like you're choosing your focus. Is that a good way to say it?

Vihaan Reddy: 8:23

Yeah.

Fatima Bey: 8:24

Yeah. And that's something that I I kind of teach a lot that you know we can I completely agree with you. Um it's easy to let our emotions take over and just run us through the mud. Um, but we have to to pause and assess. That's pausing and assessing, that is a choice. That's the one of the reasons why your system works. Um, because we have to pause and assess. Only then can we do something better. So let me ask you this. If you hadn't paused, if you hadn't used pace, um when you're, you know, in that moment when your foot got ran over, what would you have done instead? What would have been the outcome of that as well?

Vihaan Reddy: 9:12

So the outcome that would have happened is that I know that I probably would have yelled a lot at the driver. And not only is that not helping him, but it's not helping me either. Is that gonna change my foot? No, it's not. Nope. And uh yeah, and I felt like if I didn't use pace in that moment, things would be a lot worse than how it occurred.

Fatima Bey: 9:41

Agreed. And you know what else I think? I think the pain would have actually been worse. Does that make sense? Do you agree with me or am I wrong?

Vihaan Reddy: 9:50

Yeah, because you're actually feeling mental pain, but you're also feeling like physical pain from the foot.

Fatima Bey: 9:58

Yeah. Yeah. And when we choose to freak out, it actually makes whatever we're dealing with worse. Whether it's physical pain or or mental pain, like you said, it's a very good point. Um, any kind of pain, it just makes it all worse. So if what if someone your age said, hey, that pasting sounds good, but it wouldn't work when I'm angry. What would you honestly say to them?

Vihaan Reddy: 10:24

I would actually tell them to try it. If when you're in a situation that you're angry, say you just had an argument with your friend, and both both of you guys, you guys are kind of mad at each other. Why don't you be the bigger person? You use pace to make make the situation better. You know, give your friend a call or text him, say, hey, I'm sorry. And I feel like I don't know, you should just try it out for yourself.

Fatima Bey: 10:55

Honestly, that's probably the best advice. Just try it. Just try it. Because sometimes you're like, this ain't gonna work until they try it, and they're like, oh, that does work. Just like with sports and coaches. Sometimes I've seen people that just don't want to do what the coaches said, and then when they do what the coaches said, oh look, it worked. Um, what advice do you have for the youth of the world today? Your peers?

Vihaan Reddy: 11:18

Uh, one piece of advice is pace yourself, obviously. And another thing that I would say is always try to take in knowledge. Don't try to push others away. Hmm. And try to try to use pace to make better decisions. Yeah.

Fatima Bey: 11:41

What do you mean? Let's take take a dive deep deeper dive into what you just said. Let others in instead of pushing them away, I think is the way you just worded it.

Vihaan Reddy: 11:50

What do you mean by that? I mean that instead of instead of so say that you're in a class and a teacher tells you something, inside your head, you're thinking, oh yeah, I already know that. I'm good. But in that, the teacher could also be talking about, you know, something important, and instead of pushing it away, use pace to take in that knowledge and use it.

Fatima Bey: 12:22

Very interesting. Um, so what I hear you're saying is accept some some knowledge and wisdom from other people instead of immediately dismissing it. Would that be accurate?

Vihaan Reddy: 12:35

Yeah.

Fatima Bey: 12:35

Yeah. And guess what, adults? Some of y'all need to hear that advice too. Um, because I I think it's very easy to not do that sometimes. Um, but I I I I think especially because you were giving advice for your peers, it is real easy to dismiss some of the adults, and sometimes the way us adults come across makes it even easier to dismiss us because we're so um extra or rude or um wagging of our finger, and then we all, you know, when people do that, we just ignore them. Um, but you're right, listen to some wisdom. So when when you say that we should hear what people have to say, does that mean we need to just accept everything we hear?

Vihaan Reddy: 13:19

No, so this is where pace gets tied in again. So you can use pace to choose what you need to hear and what you don't need to hear. So say you're while you're trying to study, your friend was talking about some, you know, other random thing. Use pace. Tell them, hey, can you give me a moment we can talk about this later? But a good way when to use pace is another good way when to use pace is when if somebody, like I said before, the I gave an example about a teacher telling you something, that is a good time to use pace and take in the knowledge that they're giving you instead of I don't want to say negative knowledge, but just something that your friend is telling you while you're trying to do something else.

Fatima Bey: 14:14

Okay. So what I'm extracting from that is um, and I'm gonna add to it a little bit, yes, you need to uh take in knowledge or wisdom um or understanding from from others, but you know, we should have a filter with it. Um we should at least give things a chance first. And sometimes if you reject it because it's not true, then hey, then it's not true and you just reject it, and that's okay. But at least try to listen first. Is that a good way to say it? Yeah. Yep, and that's the pause and assess part. So once again, what does pace stand for? PACE stands to pause.

Vihaan Reddy: 14:56

Think about just pause a moment, assess. Think about the action actions that you can do. Choose. Choose one of the actions that you think is the best and engage. Put it into real life and see that the decision that was going to be impulsive that you were about to make was actually better because you use pace.

Fatima Bey: 15:23

Yes. And and I also I want to add to this, and I'll just say this myself. I think that in listening to this, if we take your advice and we use pace and we actually think about pace before the situation occurs, it's much easier to use it. So I would advise everyone to actually listen to what Vihana's saying and think about the different ways that you can use it. Because if you're listening, you already know what sets you off. You already know where you could be using this. So think about starting using it today because what he's saying is absolutely true. And coaches all over the world, um, in other positions, not just coaches, actually do use this. And it's it's really another form of wisdom. And I'm gonna say this some of y'all will keep out of jail because you used pace. So where can people find your TEDx talk, Mihan?

Vihaan Reddy: 16:20

Um, if you just go onto YouTube, you can search up von ready tedx or vihan ready tedx talk, and it will probably be the first result that comes up.

Fatima Bey: 16:34

And I will also add it to um the the show notes or um the description, it'll be on the episode page on my site. So I will actually add the TEDx video there. So if you guys want to see it, and I strongly uh urge that you do, it's not too long. Um go to this episode page on my website and you can watch the video there because I'm gonna embed it there. Um, and also if anybody wants to get a hold of you to maybe have you speak to their youth um or on some other stage besides TEDx, how can they get a hold of you?

Vihaan Reddy: 17:09

Um they can use my Gmail. Um, my Gmail is R-E-D-D-Y-G-V-I-H A-A-N at gmail.com.

Fatima Bey: 17:22

And that will also be in the episode description, so you can uh link it right there if you'd like. Well, Vant, thank you so, so much for coming on today. I absolutely uh love talking to you. Um, and you are an example of what I talk about a lot, and that there's so much wisdom in our youth, and some of us adults need to listen to you. Thank you.

Vihaan Reddy: 17:44

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

Fatima Bey: 17:47

And now for a mind-shifting moment. I want to focus on a portion of what this young man said in this episode. As you can hear, there is great wisdom in this 13-year-old young man. Many of us do not get some of this wisdom until we're much older. But at 13, he has a lot to say. Pace. I want to focus on the first two letters of what he said. Pause and assess. One of the biggest life wisdom advice you can ever get is that one right there. It's very deep. How often have we made mistakes in our lives? And this is for any age, youth or adults. How often have we made mistakes in our lives because we didn't pause and assess? You got pregnant or got her pregnant because you didn't pause and assess. You got into that fight because you didn't pause and assess. You got into a car accident because you didn't pause and assess. You got fired because you didn't pause and assess. Think about it. My goal with that, my point with that, it's not to make you feel guilty about the things you've done in the past. We've all made mistakes, myself included, but to get you to focus now. The past is done. But you have now in the future. I want you to go away with that much. What can I do this week where I can pause and assess and save myself a hell of a problem and more hassle and more headache and more consequences? I want you, if nothing else, to remember. Pause and assess. One of life's greatest wisdoms. You've been listening to my shift in power podcast for complete show notes on this episode and to Join our global movement, find us at fatimabay.com. Until next time, always remember, there's power in shifting your thinking.